Boots & Boys (they like to call themselves men)

Posted: June 28, 2011 in Ramblings...

The Prominent men in my life, excluding my father of course, like to think of themselves as these characters they put on like clothes. They have clichés in nature of character, they will not admit to. They are easy to figure out, but they will refuse to agree. These clothes they put on: Well, there’s the standard underpants, because I like men neat and clean and tidy, lets give them under shirts too. So there is a white t-shirt and a white underpants for each of these boys — whoops MEN.

This white underwear portrays a simple side to them that does not demand a desperate attempt to figure out its simplicity. It is what it is on the surface, apparent to the naked eye. They are good, decent and loving. They are extremely vulnerable people and as I’d like to believe (rather how I see it) they’re only human. All of us are clad in white underwear, so to speak. Their natures are simple, clear and soft but because it is an offense for a man to be anything that a woman is expected to.. in this case SOFT they will have to cover this white underwear you know of.  The men in my life cover these with the easiest clichés.

Darling CLICHE

Popular among the many is the “bad boy/mind fuck/Casanova” that i call “confused personality” that isn’t actually confused to begin with, but because of all the clichés it is forced to wear, ends up confusing which cliché went first and which went last. These personalities have great sense of humor, oh yes. Theyre charming, of course, how else will they fit the clothing requirement? They have had their heart-broken when they were still in their underpants or under only a see through layer of cliché at best. They will not admit to it, otherwise they cant pretend to NOT be a cliché. You see this heart-broken story is usually not the other person’s fault. Because these darling MEN were either pure ugly back then (yes such is their swan story) or they just stared at her and stared some more, developed a crush, took more time to figure out this crush was love (which of course it wasnt) by which time some other boy had hit puberty and left my darlings feeling like late bloomers. The girl can not be blamed, she was just a bad pick at a bad time at a bad ugly stage of life. In most of these cases this girl under consideration turned out to be a loser. I don’t mean she lost out on any one of my darlings. It just means she wasnt all who she was thought to be. Growing up, these men realized the value of a woman. No scratch that if they were this perfect I wouldn’t be writing about them. They just realized simply there’s more to a woman than a beautiful face or a great body (since we’re discussing men, can not ignore the obvious). So my darling clichés wear their bad boy layer when they hit puberty and see their great looks,  facial hair, glowing skin, husky voices and some, height! They are still big shots when it comes to women but they get this new confidence boost, they brag a little with their mates, they masturbate on a lot of porn (yes they’re still virgins THEY WILL NOT admit it), in this case cheap magazines, they will finally come out of the wardrobe their mummies put them in and embark on a hunt to find their own dress sense (which, whether they like to admit it or not, is ultimately influenced by what their mummies put them in – HAH). A boy’s wardrobe says a lot about him. His shoes, how he wears his hair, colours he sports, socks and of course how effortless in this attire or not he seems to be. This is an art he will try to master all his life, yet still not be satisfied. But that’s not the point to this post, the point is after he has decided for himself, his metaphorical layers of cliché on top of cliché, what person he thinks he has become. Essentially, they are all the same under the sun. I see them as robots. Homogenous products of trashy world of, well trash. So my darlings relate to one another on their supposed levels. Where as I look at each one and wonder how strangely similar they are yet make such an effort to find their common ground. But its pure entertainment I tell you. The game is who figures out which layer of their own that looks the same as another’s after how many wrong guesses and missed opportunities. Most women have them figured out, but these most women don’t give the attention that they deserve. So the “most women” in their lives are also clichés.

Beginning with the popular: SLUT.


She is by no means a bad person, she is not a blonde, only pretends to be and her only problem is till she got to my darlings she was having too much fun to bother to find her ultimate direction as every person is meant to. She will be loyal to him (until another temptation should occur: be it in human form or not). She will give him everything that a cliché like him needs. A lot of attention, make-believe love, ego boost, a nice image to the couple and all her time (she isn’t doing anything worthwhile anyway this ambition less, direction less woman). Her problem is, she loves what comes with him more than she loves HIM. She moves from one man to another, like a hobby to another. Strangely so, her justifications are more than satisfactory for those her kind and of course they make sense in her head. She can not be changed, there’s no option of trying, it ends in miserable failure. She has no problem of discussing her past MALE experiences in grave detail with any man, one would think at first glance that she is as honest as a woman gets, but she’s much more clever than that. Judging from her GREAT experience, she’s smart with men. But only so smart, that the fools fall and the well-bred men don’t.

The domesticated, perfect for his family: BAHU.

Bahu is the epitome of domestication, she fits just right up there in his family tree. He is sure she will get along amazingly with his painful mother, sister and love each sibling as her own. She may even have already been introduced to one or two siblings already. There is nothing more to her than being marriage material. In his head, Indian shadi tunes play in the background with every thought of her. She cooks, cleans and does not question him.

Vintage Wife

Nods in approval of everything he says. She has no personality basically. Shes good to look at and the best thing, shes a virgin. But by no means is she the angel she pretends to be. I mean okay so she is a virgin, agreed. But pretending to not know anything and adding to her innocence the fake innocence that is just so hard to believe. She has, rest assured, atleast fantasized about a man in an intimate way. Lets even give her the benefit of her innocence and say the man was faceless. But there was definitely a fantasy there, she may even have touched herself to feel what it would be like. Theres a possibility she secretly watched porn or at least one PG rated movie to get an idea what its like and have her experience goosebumps all over her body. She will not betray him by choice, but because my darling is not the man of her father’s choice she quietly accepts the old hag chosen for her by her parents and anyway he’s much maturer, practical, well settled and has a nicer car than my darling here. But because she’s a loser (and has no interest in cars), she is saddened deeply from the inside. Jokes apart, she is also after all human. But she was never meant for this love business. After the first night with hubby dearest, she’s gone forever. He will sulk and imagine he will never fall for a nice girl again, because it’s a mistake and the very standard things they tell themselves to convince oneself of self-control in matters of the heart. He has some casual affairs here and there and then again he wishes to have something more deep-rooted. To develop a connection with the opposite sex he craves.

The true love, the death-bed bride, his one: WOMAN:

THE ultimate Woman

She is more personality, variations of personality. She is straight forward, genuinely interested and most importantly gives the time of day to notice the white underwear under all his layers of clichés. She does not need to probe or fit herself into his life, she does not obsesses over him yet relishes in the attention he gives her. She does not pretend to be like the slut or the bahu. Yet she has the best of both. She brings out the best in him, isn’t so bad to look at either in fact the aura she gives off makes men and women alike look at the couple in awe. Shes a strong woman, who does not crumble under pressure and carries a brave aura everywhere she goes. In reality she is as fragile and vulnerable as the typical Shakespearean description of a woman is. She appreciates him with his flaws, she accepts the shit that comes with him being himself and moulds herself to not let it affect their relationship. She lets her guard down for him, she makes adjustments here and there to suit to his needs, shares his world view, yet expresses her opinions without offending him.Even takes interest in things he likes for his sake only. She is sometimes moody and after all she’s a female too who needs a little loving. But she never asks for great things. She seems high maintenance when in reality shes simple as they come. Her whole week is memorable with only a sweet word by him. “Babe” or “I love you” or even a phone call to share something silly makes her feel loved. Shes very easy to please and doesn’t demand half as much as the slut or bahu in terms of attention. But she forgets to notice how ungrateful he is of her. He does not realize her true value until he has lost her. And because of his own stupidities at that.

This woman he will shatter, break and destroy without even knowing it. She will keep her feet rooted deep into the ground to stand firm for him. But he will not see this. He will look back at his life at one point in time and miss her with all his heart and maybe even realize her true worth, but either it will be too late or he would’ve lost sight of his own life when he lost her that it will be too much to expect to get back. She will not beg him or cry to make him stay. She will linger around for a while in hope of him realizing her worth until she’s too disappointed to try again. She is full of self-respect and her personality is too strong to let her become someone else and break the rules of fair game, even if it’s for love. She was never half for him to make her whole. She was whole already but he made her happier and more content in her life, thereby complementing her. Basically they were a match that could be a fairytale ending or just a passionate failure because he took her for granted.

Because she had loved, she has no regrets, for she had not betrayed. She will not tilt towards the negative or engage in a desperate attempt to forget him. He however will only think of her and regret losing her, minute things will remind him of her. He will appreciate other women if only they have one quality she did, even if they pretend to have it. He will constantly want to connect with her through such minor connections. Their bond no matter how long or short according to time will be ever lasting and deep-rooted. One that even if they wanted they would not be able to break. He realizes one day, an ordinary day how she made him want to be a better man and still bothered to give him the worth that he did not deserve.

undefined story

My darling will be seemingly believable in his reinvention of the man he is today due to his great taste in drinks. Oh yes, he is not cheap but this is a conscious effort. However, there is all doubt he likes vodka like a girl *wink* He likes action movies, but will never admit to enjoying Freddy Prinze Jr express his love for and marry the leading actress of a movie, in real life. He is good in bed, no doubt but a lot of research and education both private and that given to him by his mentors has gone into this talent of his. It had nothing to do with his great understanding of women’s need for enjoyment or his natural aptitude for performing so well in bed. He pursues everything that makes him unique where as he’s as simple as they come. This is what makes him adorable to the woman and only a real woman will stop and take a good look at him. Giving him that worth may be her biggest mistake or her fairytale ending. Regardless he will never know her true worth or the fact that she knows him better than he ever knew himself. She was worth every battle and every change he would’ve made. Because ultimately she will appreciate him for living the way he pleases and he wont ever have to do anything he doesn’t want to do to become a better man.

These darlings of mine can be associated to characters like Chuck Bass, Dean Winchester, and all other characters from movies, series that are pure softies but always put on a tough exterior. In essence, being no different from the woman, who is as fragile inside as a Shakespearean description of a woman can be. Yet she exudes confidence and a strong aura of self, wherever she goes. She is afraid to be crumbled and to let her guard down, only to be shattered by my darling clichés.

A box of HIM

She will eventually get over my darlings, because she’s a real woman. She will look back and think of fond memories but let them stay in a safe box only for her reviewing pleasure. He may become a wrinkle on her face as permanent as the years that have passed since their goodbyes or he may even be a photograph in her wallet. But she will go to her grave with her total dignity intact which nor the slut nor the bahu could master and what a complete woman she was to have had and to hold onto. Loss is to my darlings alone. They eventually deceive themselves with their layers while only one person walks this world knowing about his white underpants and having to love them for them alone.

Grave Secrets

  1. nimrah says:

    i love the endingg..and the description of the bahu to typical, someone with no personality
    ahahaha.. indeed men are decieving themselves with their layers.

  2. Alexie says:

    Brilliant read Maha. Thanks! 🙂

  3. mshaiq says:

    Wow! I have no idea how to express how glad I am that I read this post.

    You lay it all bare; the sad part is, that is the way it’ll continue to go on.

    • mahakhalid says:

      Thank you 🙂 Yes, it will continue to go on because such is the balance of nature. But hey, win some loose some. Like i said fairy tale ending or passionate failure. Probability theory suggests theres 50% chance of both 😉

  4. mshaiq says:

    Reblogged this on Preconscious and commented:
    To the love of my life,

    Why did you feel the need to prove that everybody else was right?…
    No I… won’t fight

    If you could envision
    The meaning of a tragedy
    You might be surprised to hear it’s you and me.

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