In pursuit of happy ending….

Posted: April 3, 2011 in Ramblings...

She sings to herself “Its a quarter after 1, I’m all alone and I need you now”

in the back of her mind, he is out on the town with his boys living it up, the great bachelor dream. She wonders when she will cross his mind, what moment that would be when he calls it a night.

En route to his house, when will be the moment he takes a breather and she may cross his mind. She doesn’t know it or when he will sleep or where. Whether he even will have the capacity to wonder about her or not. He always has so much happening at work to think about. But maybe theres room for her, maybe she’s not another fleeting woman in his life. She wonders if its cold there or not. She falls asleep. (That odd, vaguely uneasy feeling you’ve got? You’re not crazy. There is something strange going on, and you don’t have any idea what it might be. Just don’t be too upset about it. Some surprises are wonderful — and sexy and long-lasting, too.)

Meanwhile…

A plum, good-looking young boy in his mid twenties, very well-dressed for a 20 something lad, slips into bed with work clothes on and thinks of her with a smile across his face, they’re definitely good memories. His phone rings somewhere in the background, he puts the pillow on his head, stuffs his face under the covers. It’s probably his girlfriend or one of them. He’s in love but not with any of them. He knows it but he keeps fighting it. He knows he can’t do without her. When it gets too unbearable and memories flash back he grabs the car keys and the cell phone. (You’re nervous and edgy, but you can’t figure out why. Everything seems to be going so well, right? Right. But a good friend’s objective opinion wouldn’t hurt, either. Good friend? Is there one?)

Calls his bootlegger, orders a bottle of whiskey, beers wouldn’t do for today’s agenda is to lose himself, to drown in this alcohol. He downs the bottle, drives around crazy. Everything flashes back. He’s F****D. Instead of forgetting what he was trying to forget, it flashes back like crystal. He takes a leak on billboards and litters on the roads, something he never would do had he been in his senses. He calls her up “Said I wouldn’t call and I lost all control, I’m a little drunk and I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now”.

 He was talking to the voice mail. She stopped picking his calls. He thinks to himself, I deserve it but he can’t get over her smile while the sun shone on her face, he can’t forget resting his head in her lap and crying like a child. He can’t get over the calm that would overcome him with her there. He cries bitter tears. He feels failed. He knows he made a mistake, he always had to live with regrets, she was the only thing he did right. And he made that right into wrong too. Why does it have to be this way? Why wont he get over her? Why did he decide to part in the first place? This life is not worth it anymore, there is no fun to be had because she finds her way into his head everywhere.(It’s okay to believe this. They may not be wearing a crown, but they’re perfect — for you at least, and that’s what counts, right?) She was always there now shes slipping, he wouldnt accept shes moved on because she will always belong to him. No matter what or who happens, he will possess her. He wonders if theres someone else. Is he more grateful for her than he was? He does not know what to do, where to go from here.. With his hands on his head, he weeps and in the background the mosque’s speakers blare. Its time for Nimaz-e-fajr..

Some where else, the weather is better and its quieter. Someone wonders ‘She came into my life out of nowhere, she was just there, it was pure coincidence. Another coincidence and she was there again. Somehow we began to talk again. No, Id rather not think of this. I’m just bored’

(Is it your imagination, or is there really nothing more important in life than passion? Well, that’s debatable — but certainly not for you, not right now.)

He lights a cigarette and thinks blank thoughts of nothing, stares into space then she pops back into his blank thoughts. A smile crosses his face, he thinks ‘she made a complete fool of herself, I make her nervous. Ha Ha’. He puts his cigarette off, grabs his phone and the time on the phone reads ‘way past your bed time’ he forgets everything. Puts the phone away, switches off the light and closes his eyes. Minutes later he opens them again, gets up to grab a glass of water. Gulp Gulp and gets back in bed with a smile on his face and one thought in his head ‘She’ll be up in the morning, She’s okay. I’ll talk to her…..soon’

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